Often when couples seek counselling it’s because amidst all their responsibilities they’ve lost sight of each other as unique beings. My approach with couples is to use a combination of strategies to help you and your partner to communicate beyond the conflict, and to respect each other again as individuals. We aim to look at the problem as separate to the individuals in the relationship.
Partners are helped to recall the original strengths of their relationship and what attracted them to each other in the first place. We then explore how the current problem is distorting this. By externalising the problem couples don’t have to feel that they are the problem. As your eyes are opened toward each other as individuals, with separate histories and experiences, you discover more about yourself and your partner’s perspective. In this way, both partners are enabled to become less defensive, more understanding, and capable of better informed choices.
The Gestalt Prayer, by Fritz Perls (1969), states: “I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped”.
This prayer exemplifies how Gestalt therapists work with couples. Individuals are to deal with their own issues, live their own lives, and meet each other in a romantic relationship as two wholes who come together.
If you’d like to find out more about couples counselling please click here.
Partners are helped to recall the original strengths of their relationship and what attracted them to each other in the first place. We then explore how the current problem is distorting this. By externalising the problem couples don’t have to feel that they are the problem. As your eyes are opened toward each other as individuals, with separate histories and experiences, you discover more about yourself and your partner’s perspective. In this way, both partners are enabled to become less defensive, more understanding, and capable of better informed choices.
The Gestalt Prayer, by Fritz Perls (1969), states: “I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped”.
This prayer exemplifies how Gestalt therapists work with couples. Individuals are to deal with their own issues, live their own lives, and meet each other in a romantic relationship as two wholes who come together.
If you’d like to find out more about couples counselling please click here.